A Father Heard

Why Stay Here Until We Die? A Father’s Step Into Purpose

September 3, 2025September 4, 2025 A Father Heard

How a season of transition reawakened my calling and redefined my leadership as a father

Every father has felt it — that late-night moment when responsibilities pile up and fears whisper louder than your courage. You’re not alone. Centuries ago, four outcasts in 2 Kings 7:3-10 faced a similar crossroads. Starving and ignored, they chose to act, saying, “Why stay here until we die?” Their boldness didn’t just save their lives — it rescued an entire nation.

Today, fathers face less literal but equally paralyzing “lepers”: procrastination, financial stress, unresolved relationships, or the fear of not measuring up. We bury these struggles, hoping they’ll vanish. But like the lepers’ untreated wounds, ignored problems only fester. This article isn’t about condemnation — it’s about liberation. Through the lens of an ancient story, we’ll explore how embracing imperfect faith and decisive action can transform your leadership at home.

Understanding the ‘Leper’ in Our Lives

A single figure at the start of his journey into the unknown.

In biblical times, leprosy wasn’t just a physical disease — it was a social death sentence. Lepers were cast out, avoided, and left on the fringes of society. For fathers today, the “leprosy” we deal with isn’t visible on the skin — it lives in silence, procrastination, shame, or fear. It keeps us spiritually stuck and emotionally distant. It whispers: You’ll never get ahead. You’re failing. You’re not enough.

So what is your “leper”?

Maybe it’s time — the way it seems to vanish no matter how well you plan. Maybe it’s money — feeling like you can never quite catch up. Or maybe it’s deeper: anger you’ve never dealt with, trauma you’ve never named, a spiritual rut you’ve come to accept. These hidden “lepers” don’t just affect you. They show up in your tone, your energy, your decisions, and ultimately, in the way you lead your family.

The danger isn’t always in the size of the problem. Often, it’s in how long we’ve ignored it. Because what we avoid doesn’t go away — it grows. And what grows unchecked can dictate the direction of our lives. That’s why recognizing your “leper” is the beginning of breakthrough. You can’t fix what you won’t face.

But here’s the truth: You’re not disqualified because you’re struggling. You’re human. And like those four lepers sitting outside the gate of Samaria, you have a choice — stay in the mess or move toward something more.

Lessons from the Four Lepers of 2 Kings

The story of the four lepers in 2 Kings 7 isn’t just about desperation—it’s about radical clarity. These men sat outside Samaria’s gates during a famine so severe that mothers were eating their own children (2 Kings 6:28–29). As outcasts, they had nothing to lose. Yet in their darkest moment, they asked a revolutionary question: “Why stay here until we die?” (2 Kings 7:3–4)

Their logic was painfully simple: If they stayed, they’d starve. If they approached the enemy camp, they might die—or live. So they took a risk, stumbling toward the Arameans’ tents. But when they arrived, the camp was empty. God had miraculously caused the enemy army to flee, leaving behind food, supplies, and treasure (2 Kings 7:6–7). The lepers’ “crazy” decision didn’t just save them—it saved an entire city.

For fathers, this story cracks open three timeless truths:

Inaction is a slow death. Staying stuck in fear, pride, or procrastination drains your ability to lead.
Faith requires movement. The lepers didn’t wait for a guarantee—they stepped into the unknown.
Your breakthrough isn’t just for you. Their courage fed a starving nation. Your choices today will impact generations.

Modern fatherhood is rarely about literal survival, but the same principle applies. When you avoid hard conversations, delay financial planning, or silence your spiritual hunger, you’re choosing the “slow death” of complacency. But when you act—even imperfectly—you open the door to provision you couldn’t foresee.

Evaluating Your Inner Circle and Taking Action

A group of men walking or talking together on a trail

Just as the four lepers made their decision together, your journey forward depends heavily on who walks beside you. The harsh reality? Some relationships keep us camping at the city gate, stuck in familiar pain. Others push us toward growth, even when that growth is uncomfortable.

The Power of Your Circle

Take a moment to consider: Who are the voices in your life? Are they men who challenge you to grow, or those who normalize staying stuck? The Scripture says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). But rust can’t sharpen anything. Your transformation begins with honest evaluation of your influences.

Consider these questions:

Who do you call when life gets hard?
Are your closest friends moving forward or standing still?
Do your relationships encourage faith or feed fear?
Who holds you accountable to your goals and values?

Taking Actionable Steps

Like the lepers, your journey starts with a single step. Here’s how to begin:

Name Your “Leper”
- Write down what you’ve been avoiding
- Be specific about how it affects your family
- Identify the cost of not changing
Create Your Action Plan
- Break down big challenges into smaller steps
- Set realistic timelines for each step
- Share your plan with someone who’ll hold you accountable
Build Your Support System
- Join a men’s group or Bible study
- Find a mentor who’s overcome similar challenges
- Connect with other fathers who share your values

Remember, movement doesn’t have to be massive to be meaningful. Sometimes the bravest step is making that first counseling appointment, opening that budget spreadsheet, or having that difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding.

Building Imperfect Yet Forward-Moving Faith

In our pursuit of growth, it’s easy to believe we need all the answers before we act. But the truth is, God never asked for perfection—He invites movement. The story of the four lepers reminds us that breakthrough often begins when we choose obedience over certainty. They didn’t have power or a well-defined plan. They just moved, trusting that something would meet them on the road.

Imperfect Faith is Still Faith

That truth came alive for me recently. A little under two months ago, I found out that I’ll be laid off at the end of August. In that moment, I had two choices: let fear set the agenda or start walking forward with faith.

I chose the latter.

I began documenting my layoff journey on social media, not for attention, but to reclaim my voice and remind myself — and others — that God still leads in the unknown. That simple act of transparency reopened the door to my passion for writing. I’ve started creating again, not as a side project, but as a calling. I know I can find another job, but during this transitional season, I’m choosing to work my passion like passion has never been worked before.

I’m not just doing this for myself or even just for my kids — I’m doing it for every father, every parent, silently facing uncertainty. You’re not alone. And while your faith may feel unsure or imperfect, every forward step is powerful. It proves to your family and to yourself that fear doesn’t have the final say.

an African father with a warm smile giving his young daughter a hug

Conclusion: Leading by Example

Fathers, your family isn’t looking for perfection — they’re looking for presence, courage, and consistency. Leadership at home starts by modeling what it means to face obstacles head-on, to own your weaknesses, and to move forward in faith even when the outcome is unclear.

The four lepers didn’t have power, privilege, or a perfect plan — but they had the courage to ask, “Why stay here until we die?” That question, spoken in desperation, became the spark that saved a city. In the same way, your willingness to confront what’s holding you back can unlock healing, provision, and generational change in your home.

You’re not just leading your family with your words — you’re leading them with your steps. Every move you make toward wholeness, connection, and growth sends a strong message to your spouse, your children, and your circle: We don’t have to stay stuck. We can choose something better.

Let this be your moment to act. Your courage will create clarity. Your faith will inspire movement. And your decision to step forward — even if it’s small — might be the very thing that sets your entire family free.

Key Takeaways

Every father carries something that can hold him back — identify your “leper.”
Like the lepers in 2 Kings 7, you must choose movement over stagnation.
Evaluate your relationships and build a support system that sharpens you.
Faith doesn’t require perfection — it requires progress.
Your steps of courage ripple through generations. Lead by example.

Call to Action

What is one area in your life you’ve been avoiding that needs a step forward? Leave a comment below or message us privately — we’d love to support you.

If this message resonated with you, share it with another father who needs encouragement today. Together, let’s build a tribe of men who lead with honesty, faith, and action.

Download Your Free Reflection Tool and lead your home with the fruit that lasts with the Father’s Leadership Check-In. Reflection. Action. Legacy.

#afatherheard #leadwithfaith #dadlife #MenofGod #faithforward

Black Fathers Speak on Black Family: Representation, Identity, & Diversity

March 27, 2021 A Father Heard

During Black History Month, I participated as a panelist in the 2021 Winter’s Black History Month Celebration. Many myths and stereotypes would lead the general population to believe Black Fathers neglect our families and diminish our value. During this panel discussion, we dispel those Black Father myths and stereotypes.

Each of us on the panel took the time to share our heart, and the true character and identity of the Black Father.

I’m sure there’s a lot more that I can write about who we are. However, I’ll let our voices speak to the importance of The Black Family: Representation, Identity, and Diversity.

Before you listen, take a moment to read and reflect on my haiku called “Black Fatherhood” that I wrote for you.

“Black Fatherhood” by Marcus Griggs

Black Fatherhood

Beautiful, Melinated

Irreplaceable!

Below is the recording of the panel, originally, recorded on February 25, 2021 and posted at Texas HHSC’s YouTube page.

How to Win at Arguing With Your Partner or Anyone Else (for that Matter)

February 13, 2021 A Father Heard

The other day, I wandered across a post in a social media group that caught my attention. Like most posts on these platforms, it starts with someone sharing their perspective of an experience that they had. In most cases, they’re not really interested in hearing another perspective on their issue. Usually, validation and approval is what they’re seeking. They want to let others know, exactly, what they’re feeling. Their retelling of the experience might include little detail, which doesn’t give the onlookers much satisfaction. However, letting it all out or venting is the way (in my Mandalorian voice) in which these things work.

WE WANT THE FULL EXPERIENCE.

The readers wants all of the juicy details to decide on whether or not to fully invest time and energy into reading the post (and the comments). That post, in particular, just so happened to be one of those posts, that had the necessary elements to draw others into the fray. As I read the post, I asked a clarifying question to determine how clear I was in understanding the poster’s point of view. I didn’t want to assume that I had all of the information based on what I had read in front of me.

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT ASSUMING!!!

The issue with assuming that we know what the other person is thinking is a recipe for disaster, which leads to further disconnection and misunderstanding between those involved. In my opinion, it’s a lack of respect for the other person. I believe that we owe it to ourselves to put ourselves in a position of receiving what we need from the other person. It doesn’t mean that we have to agree. Simply, that we’re open to hearing their perspective. Hence, the clarifying question is bringing clarity and understanding into the mix. Ultimately, landing us in a position of alignment and improved connection.

Often it requires time to disrupt and interrupt the chaos created by disagreements in our relationships. A willingness to engage from a place of curiosity is important to building a bridge. Without this bridge, the flow of traffic is non existent. What happens when traffic is not moving?

Photo by Aayush Srivastava on Pexels.com

It leads to anger, frustration, resentment, anxiety, etc. These feelings cause us to go into fight or flight mode. That’s right the stress response kicks in, which impacts the ability to communicate our feelings and needs with a level of reason. When reason goes out the door, you can forget about a reasonable resolution. If we’re not in tune with ourselves, we’ll continue to spiral out of control until we return to ourselves. If you struggle with staying caught in your emotions, listen to my podcast episode on releasing negative emotions.

As that energy subsides, we have the ability to return to listening for understanding, clarifying for understanding, and providing our point of view to bring about a resolution for the situation. At the end of the day, a resolution is the what we want. Working towards that resolution with a win-win in mind is the way for winning the arguments, which doesn’t fit the social media drama model. And, there’s nothing wrong with that!

Blessed to Be a Blessing

December 23, 2020 A Father Heard

In an earlier post, I discussed the importance of providing affirmations to our children. If you haven’t had an opportunity to check it out, click on the link to enhance the power of your voice to boost your child’s self worth. I know that you will reap the rewards in your relationship with your family.

What does bless mean, exactly? In my mind, the word “bless” is to provide something of value to someone else, i.e. kind words, a gift, a smile, money, etc. It’s an endless list of what and how we can go about blessing others in this world. It doesn’t need a million dollar price tag on it to prove it’s worth and value. All it needs is a loving and willing heart distributing it to someone, which validates its worth on its own.

Recently a friend of mine, reached out for some help to serve the homeless in our community. Without hesitation, I let him know that I was on board to link up with him to help distribute meals to this growing population in our community. I didn’t know what to expect by signing on to help. I knew that I’ve been on the receiving end of so much goodness in my life, that I wanted to bless someone else by serving in the community with no expectation of anything in return.

My wife and I showed up to our friend’s home a little after 9AM on a Sunday morning, which means I woke up way earlier than I care to wake up on a weekend. Normally during this time, I’m watching an online service from the School of the Hebrews. In the last few weeks, I felt the need for something more than just being a consumer of the sermon. I strongly felt the need to produce fruit (so to speak) for others to consume. Immediately, I transformed from consuming to producing from being blessed to blessing others.

All too often, it’s easy to limit our thinking to our 4 walls and nothing else beyond those boundaries. It’s easy to open the garage door, close the garage door, and enter the home after a day’s work ends. I believe that there’s more in life than this simple, unimpactful transaction with life.

Yes, work is important! It’s how we provide for our self and our family.

Yes, rest is important! It helps us to have the necessary energy for life.

However, the act of being a blessing to someone has the potential to do far more than we will ever know for someone else.

While we were serving, we met a man who had fallen on tough times. His father, a minister for 37 years, no longer on this side of eternity. He lives in a tent community at a busy intersection in our city. The man didn’t want anything that we had to offer in terms of the warm meal. His requests were a pair of pants, and continue to keep coming to ’till the soil.’

In our interaction with him, I learned more about and from him in 10 mins than I expected.

Often times in our desire to serve, we approach it with this self-serving mindset. We feel that we are doing things for the right reasons, and there are times when ulterior motives lie underneath the surface, whether we’re aware or unaware of them.

In this interaction, I’m pretty sure that I came pure of heart to be a blessing. Was my desire to produce more about me or more about the community? I believe a little of both existed inside of me. The hesitancy to engage at times was definitely about my comfort and safety. The desire to give and fulfill a need, definitely played a huge part in the day. However, my desire to produce for this man transformed me into a consumer once again.

This homeless man living on the street “ministered” to my friend and I, in such a way, that the posture of my heart changed. It was truly a remarkable moment to experience, to say the least. We never know what others are dealing with in this life. It’s not my place to pass judgement or condemn. It’s my place to learn and understand, if my desire is living out the call of being blessed to bless others. I believe this desire is in all of our lives. The way that each of us fulfills this calling looks different from one person to the next.

Too Spank or Not Too Spank!

November 27, 2020 A Father Heard

Let’s take a look at one of the most misquoted scriptures in the entire Bible. If you read the title, then you know that I’m not referring to money is the root of all evil. That’s another post for another day. Based on the title, I’m referring to Proverbs 13:24.

When it comes to physical discipline, have you ever heard someone say, “Well in the Bible, it says ‘spare the rod, spoil the child” as their justification for using the proverbial rod of correction? I’m sure that you have someone in mind, who has made that statement on an occasion or two. Perhaps, you have uttered those words as well. For the record, the scripture states “He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.”

Before we dive into the idea of spanking or not spanking, let me share this with you first. I’m not going to tell you to spank or not to spank. It’s not my place to tell you what to do with your child. However, my stance on the issue leans heavily on using alternatives to corporal punishment. With that said, let’s get it started.

I want you to look at the scripture one more time.

You’re probably thinking a few things right about now after re-reading the scripture. More than likely, you’re not asking yourself how this misinterpretation could be so rampant in our world. I’m sure some of you will chalk it up to the game. Some of you are willing to let this error slide. That’s fine by me if you take that route. However, I’ve come to a point in my life where I want to challenge some of the belief systems that I have about certain things. I don’t do it, per se, to poke holes into my beliefs and ideas. I do it more so to strengthen those things that I believe in by having a valid reason for continuing to go along with my belief system. However, I don’t have a problem with dismantling it once I see that the idea no longer serves me. Sometimes, it’s easier said than done. But, that’s my goal.

Let’s get back on track with this “sparing of the rod and spoiling of the child” business at hand. Let’s start with looking at the origin, which has been around since 1664. That’s right 1664! It showed up in the narrative poem entitled Hudibras written by Samuel Butler.

We don’t have to be a master in theology or biblical studies to know that the Bible pre-dates the 1600s. But, I digress.

Let’s see what Samuel Butler wrote: “If matrimony and hanging go/By dest’ny, why not whipping too?/What med’cine else can cure the fits/Of lovers when they lose their wits?/Love is a boy, by poets styl’d/Then spare the rod, and spoil the child.”

Wait! What just happened?

This might be a good place to breathe. I’m still trying to figure out what happened as well. That quote has, absolutely, nothing to do with discipling children. I’m pretty sure that I don’t want to engage in that deep dive of history. If you’re interested in more details, you’re welcome to engage in that endeavor on your own. From what I gathered, their was a belief by early Europeans that children are were easily spoiled by things that time and research in parenting has provided alternative information, i.e. feeding babies on demand, picking up babies when they cry, spanking to discipline.

When presented with new information, we have a choice to continue to walk in darkness or walk in light. If you’ve made it this far with me, I’m guessing that you want to enjoy the light. But, your eyes are still trying to adjust to the new setting.

Let’s go back to the scripture at hand, which reads “He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.” In my opinion, the text is more focused on applying discipline than exacting punishment. Some of you are wondering if there’s a difference between the two. Yes, there is a huge difference. The difference is found in the outcome that each produces in the child. The difference is found in the motivation of the parents.

Here’s a good spot to give meaning to discipline and punishment.

Discipline is teaching and guiding, which provides the child with information on how they are to behave or not behave.
Punishment is applying shame, fear, or guilt to your child as a means of correcting their behavior.

Here’s an example of punishment: I yell at my 4 year old for spilling milk all over the counter. My goal isn’t to help her understand how to pour the milk. It’s to point out how not to pour the milk by use of the condemning message or worse.

Here’s an example of discipline: I remind my 4 year old that “toys are for sitting and not for throwing at others.” Once the child uses the toy correctly, I provide encouragement and acknowledgement of the use of the toy. If the child does not use it properly, then toy is removed from a play for a certain amount of time.

If love is the motivating factor in how I raise my children, then I believe that I must role model love for them in all of my interactions with them including discipline. I love my children enough to not leave them in their mess. At the same time, I recognize that they’re children and messing up comes with the territory. If a child messing up is a guarantee, then leading them into understanding through my teaching and guidance is a must.

For more on my thoughts about disciplining, you can check out a series of episodes on the topic starting with Wait Until Your Dad Gets Home, which was the first of a 4-week discussion on discipline versus punishment.