A Father Heard

What’s Really Going On?

September 24, 2020 A Father Heard

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself this question “what’s, really, going on?” More often than not, I find myself affording perception the opportunity to become reality. When in all actuality, reality is perception until the lens changes.

I like words. They possess the capacity to provide richness and depth to a conversation. However, chaos and division might ensue when word choice and usage lead to misunderstandings. My goal is create a clear picture. In order to have the same lens, we’ll use Merriam-Webster as a point of reference for perception and reality

Perception often breathes life into our reality based on our attitudes, beliefs, and experiences. These are our points of reference for approaching our lives. In this instance, I included Dictionary.com in the second set of words.

Why?

Variance exists between how these organizations define these words; even though, they are the same. I have no idea why. Nor, will I take the time to find out. The lenses lead to their selection.

Back to attitudes, beliefs, and experiences. Although these three are truth for us in many instances, it doesn’t mean that they are truth for others. Case in point. Stop signs are red; unless, an individual with color blindness is the one looking at it. The stop sign is no longer red from that person’s perception; even though, the reality is stop signs are red. But, only to sighted individuals.

Let’s take a closer look. Shall we?

If my reality is based on my perception and your reality is based on your perception, that sounds like a recipe for disaster in a world where we believe that our reality is the absolute truth. I’m sure you’ll have seen this play out time and time again in this virtual world. Take for instance, social media algorithms place a tint over our lenses. Now a commonly viewed situation is causing chaos in an individual’s reality without disturbing the harmony of another. The next thing you know, Facebook drama and Twitter wars abound. Instead of viewing the world through someone else’s lens, there’s a tendency to dig in our heels to not yield space or fortify our walls to avoid a collapse.

In doing so, seeking first to understand then to be understood (as suggested in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is left null and void. Imagine a society of people, who seek to understand and who challenge their attitudes, beliefs, and experiences.

Can you see it as clearly as I see it through my lens?

I hope so.

It’s a peaceful place that’s bright enough for all of us to rock our lenses.

2020 Man In Me Virtual Summit

September 19, 2020September 19, 2020 A Father Heard

If you’ll recall from a previous article, I co-founded the Mastering Manhood Conference with two of my buddies, through the Man in Me. As we were in early in preparation for planning the conference, the pandemic hit. With the uncertainty of 2020, we reluctantly decided to cancel what would have been our 4th Annual Mastering Manhood Conference.

With that decision to wait until 2021, there were numerous request to have an event. In this pandemic; despite Zoom fatigue, people are in need of connection. Our Founder and President, Isaac Rowe embarked on pulling off the organizations first summit. On Saturday, August 15th, The Man Me Virtual Summit consisted of two tracks running simultaneously for our participants to engage in personal and professional development.

Here are the recordings of the event:

Hosted by Joshua Banks
– Opening Remarks: Isaac Rowe
-Session 1A: Time 10:10–11:10 Crissy Butts – “Creating a Fun Happy Cave with your Kids”
-Session 2A: Time 11:15 –12:15 Leah Leone, J.D. – “Successful Co-Parenting is for Grown Folks”
-Session 3A: Time 12:20 – 1:35 2020 & Man! (Panel) Bavu Blakes – Moderator Teddy Jones – Panelist Brandon Woodson – Panelist Ceasar F. Barajas – Panelist Darryl Thomas Jr. – Panelist
-BONUS Session 4A & 4B: Time 1:40 – 2:15 “Work Life – Balance: Building Business & Community with the Family” Amber Rowe Isaac Rowe

Hosted by Alonzo Blankenship
– Opening Remarks: Isaac Rowe
-Session 1B: Time 10:10–11:10 Mayor Larry Wallace PhD – “Courageous Leadership”
-Session 2B: Time 11:15 –12:15 Corey Jones – “How Childhood Trauma Affects Manhood”
-Session 3B: Time 12:20 – 1:35 Morgan Susan Taylor, MA – “The Sex Talk Café Live!”
-BONUS Session 4A & 4B: Time 1:40 – 2:15 “Work – Life – Balance: Building Business & Community with the Family” Amber Rowe Isaac Rowe

If we had allowed the pandemic to dictate life for us, this event never makes it off of the ground. The purpose and passion for serving the community is and was the driving force for making it happen for the men and women, who attended this incredible event. Can’t wait to see what happens next.

Question: What things have you started or produced during the pandemic?

Finding Your Purpose

September 7, 2019 A Father Heard

This morning, I participated in Bible study with a group of men from a local church. I wasn’t sure of the topic for the day. But, I was eager for the fellowship. When I found out that the focus for the time would be on purpose, I was pleased. Attending the meeting, I feel was a confirmation of sorts for me. Let me explain my reasoning.

This week, I took on a coaching client to help him walk through my 13-week course to discover his purpose. At the end of this course, he will have a written manifesto for his life purpose. The focus (in short) is to help him become the change agent, that he desires to be in his life. We’ll dig into things like childhood, belief systems, talents, personality, and skills. He’ll have to comb through various aspects of his identity to discover, uncover, and re-discovery…HIMSELF! His introspection will become medicine for healing whatever has disconnected him from his purpose.

It will be a huge undertaking, and it won’t be an easy journey. However, the journey will be worth it when he’s completed it. We owe it to ourselves to ask the hard questions. We owe it to our relationships to be honest and open with our answers. We owe it to ourselves to connect with the Most High, who placed the purpose inside of us. We were created with purpose and for a purpose. All of the deep digging will be useless without connecting to the source of our existence.

If you find yourself drifting through life, ask for wisdom from on high. Your prayers will point you to the answers for working through the recesses of your heart. We are naive to think, that we can figure it out on our own.

A Conversation with my Dad

September 2, 2019 A Father Heard

About 4 years ago, I came across interview questions for someone you love on Brendon Bruchard’s Facebook page. I thought it was a great idea at the time, and I decided to save the post. Fast forward to this weekend, I took the opportunity to put action behind the desire to interview my father on the “A Father Heard” podcast. If you’d like to listen to Family Life: A Conversation with my Dad, here you go! This episode was the third of four in the series; in which, I sit down with members of my family.

All to often, we put things off with the hopes of getting back to it. That’s a great recipe for not completing the task. I’m very grateful, that my dad is still living. I’m appreciative for a great relationship with him. If it wasn’t for his dedication and labor of love to create a healthy relationship for his children, this conversation would have been very different. Perhaps, it would have never happened.

How many people do you know of that have strained relationships with their family members? There are far to many that I know of in my personal and professional life. As a parent, we have a great deal of responsibility for cultivating a safe and loving environment for our family. If we’ve done or job to the best of our abilities, our children will want to come home as adults to have a conversation about life.

Keep It Moving!

January 21, 2019 A Father Heard

Last week, I discovered another one of those weird and obscure holidays. I’ve heard of Talk Like a Pirate Day and May the 4th Be With You; in which, at one time I planned activities for people to gather and celebrate. No big deal. There are plenty of people, who like pirates and Star Wars themed parties. Now, a Quitter’s Day! You read that correctly! Not to be confused with National Quilting Day, where someone will become the recipient of some old lady’s master piece after hours upon hours of sewing.

But, Q-U-I-T-T-E-R-S’ Day! Really?

According to researchers, Saturday, January 12th is the day when resolutions have a high probability of becoming a distant memory. The high hopes for entering into a new year and new you have been vanquished once again. Banished into the realms of Quitter’s Day.

What’s really going on?

Is it, just, me? I feel like there’s something, inherently, wrong with celebrating the inability to follow through with a commitment to oneself. Now, I don’t know if people are celebrating. They’re not taking to the streets as if their team won a championship. More than likely, they are beating themselves up about it. They are officially letting go of their hopes and dreams to bear fruit in their lives. Now, that’s no celebration worthy of a designated day!

Let’s see what a great poet has to say about it.

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore–
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over–
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

Langston Hughes

I’m pretty sure that is not celebration. It sounds like agony and defeat if you ask me. This Quitter’s Day has me thinking. If it’s that easy to just give up after 12 days perhaps it was more of a wish than a true desire for your life.

When it’s something that we really want, that’s the kind of thing that keeps pulling at your affections. It’s calling us, and the wave length of that call will echo and echo until we are consumed by action or regret. It’s doing everything in it’s power to pull us towards it; in hopes of becoming fully actualized. That’s what it’s designed to do! It’s a powerful force, which was placed inside of you to accomplish. If you can feel this call for for action, what are you waiting for? GET MOVING!