When Work Stops, Fatherhood Doesn’t
On a Thursday, I learned I was being laid off in two months. By Monday, I realized I wasn’t just losing a job — I was losing a piece of the work I’d poured my heart into for over two decades.
When you’re a father, a layoff hits differently. The mortgage still needs paying. The fridge still needs filling. The little eyes at the dinner table still look to you for reassurance.
Job loss can feel like a threat to more than your bank account — it can feel like a threat to your identity. But here’s the truth: a layoff is not the end. It’s a forced reset, a chance to rebuild with intention.
I found out that our team was being laid off, and it was a shock. We had worked tirelessly to meet the needs of the families we served. But it wasn’t until I returned from PTO and read our Executive Director’s words about the impact we had made over ten years that it really began to sink in. We had touched countless families and individuals — and now there would be a void in our community.
That day, I realized layoffs don’t just affect paychecks. They ripple into the lives of others, and as a father, that weight feels even heavier.
The Emotional Reality of a Layoff
For many fathers, a layoff is more than the loss of a paycheck — it’s the loss of a role, a rhythm, and a sense of stability. It can stir up fear, shame, and uncertainty.
For me, the emotion that hit hardest was grief. This wasn’t just any job ending — I had served in that agency for over 22 years. I had helped build the fatherhood program from the ground up, and I’d walked alongside countless fathers as they worked to better their lives. Suddenly, it was gone, and I was left asking, What’s next for me?
Almost immediately, I began looking inward: What am I passionate about? How can I turn this into an opportunity? That’s when I started sharing my layoff journey on social media, leaning into the work I’d been building outside my 9–5 in the fatherhood space. I made a decision — I wasn’t going to just settle for anything.
I’ve had honest conversations with my kids and family. I’ve reminded them (and myself) that things will change, but things will be okay. I have faith in the Most High. When one door closes, another always opens.
Core Mindset Shift — You Are Not Your Job
When a layoff happens, it’s easy to let your career status define your worth. But here’s the truth: your kids don’t care what’s printed on your business card. They care about how you show up.
If I were sitting across from a dad who just lost his job, I’d tell him: Your story is still being written. You are not a failure. This is not the time to lay down. This is the time to do the things you’re passionate about, to tap into your purpose, and to leave no stone unturned.
Your worth as a father is not tied to your job title. You are so much more than the work you do. Keep being the best you can be for your family, because they’re watching how you handle this moment — and they’ll remember your resilience more than any paycheck.
The Power of Structure in Uncertain Times
When life feels uncertain, structure becomes your anchor. Without it, days can blur together and motivation can fade fast.
After my layoff, I made it my goal to wake up at the same time every day and follow my morning routine. I start with quiet time — grounding myself before the day begins — then I help my daughter with her schooling. I’m intentional with my hours and don’t allow my hands to be idle.
My focus is split between personal development, building my fatherhood work, and searching for job opportunities that align with my values. And here’s the truth: I work harder on myself than I ever did on my job. That daily discipline keeps me steady and moves me closer to what’s next.
Using the Layoff as a Launchpad
A layoff can close one door — but it can also clear the space for new ones to open. If you choose to see it that way, it can be a season of creativity, focus, and forward motion.
When I got my notice, I made a decision: I wasn’t going to wait for an employer to validate my calling. I started writing for my blog again, creating meaningful posts to remind fathers how important they are. I didn’t need a job to do that — it’s been part of me for over 11 years.
I’ve been working on several projects, crafting presentations, and pursuing opportunities to expand the work of fatherhood. And the more I’ve poured into this mission, the more doors have opened. This isn’t just about bouncing back — it’s about building something that lasts.
5 Ways Fathers Can Stay Strong During a Layoff
- Stick to a Routine – Keep waking up at the same time, staying active, and structuring your day.
- Have Honest Family Conversations – Transparency builds trust and helps your loved ones adjust with you.
- Reconnect with Your Purpose – Use this time to focus on what you’re truly passionate about.
- Invest in Personal Growth – Read, learn, and develop yourself so you’re ready for the next opportunity.
- See It as a Launchpad – Your next chapter might be better than you imagined.
A Broader Perspective
Research from the American Psychological Association shows that job loss can significantly increase stress levels and impact family relationships. But studies also show that resilience — the ability to adapt and bounce back — is a skill that can be strengthened.
Your children are watching how you respond in this season. By staying calm, consistent, and committed to growth, you’re modeling resilience that will serve them for life.
Final Thoughts — From Setback to Setup
To my fellow fathers walking through a layoff: you are more than your job. This moment is not the end of your story — it’s the beginning of a new chapter.
Lean on your faith. Be honest with your family. Create a daily structure that keeps you moving. Use this time to pour into the things you care about most. And remember: the way you respond now is shaping not only your future, but the way your children will approach challenges in their own lives.
One door has closed, but others are opening. Step through them with courage.
If you’re a father navigating change, I share encouragement, tools, and real stories at A Father Heard. Let’s walk this journey together.
A Father Heard 